I messed up parenting.
So when I decided to do this blog, I had no intention of discussing “parenting”. However, this week, that’s all I can think about. I have a friend who lost her son to suicide last week. It’s actually the second friend in 3 months who has experienced this horrific loss.
I’ve been beating myself up over the past few days. My kids’ emotional health is always on my radar, because I feel I have made so many parenting mistakes. I really can’t believe that God trusted ME enough to raise these two men. I pray everyday that I’m doing it the right way.
I do, however, thank my God daily for the privilege of being a mom. It was a blessing that did not come easily. One of these days I will get into the journey that brought my two beautiful boys to me and their father. It was a journey of heartbreak, frustration, fear, joy, patience, impatience, confusion, and pure love all rolled up in one. How it all played out is nothing short of miraculous, and I see Gods hands all over it. It was all in His perfect timing, His perfect plan.
Now I find myself laying here, fretting, am I doing enough to raise Godly men? Am I praying enough with them? Am I praying the right prayers? Am I setting the right example? Am I equipping them to be independent? Am I showing them enough love? Do they know they are loved? Have I totally screwed them up? 😫
Hearing about the tragedy of a man and woman losing their only son, really makes you stop and think. Someone said to me the other day that she works with patients who have suicidal tendencies. She has the opportunity to tell them that EVERY life is valuable. That our bodies are not our own....they belong to God. I realized that if I am able to have my kids fully understand that one truth....They are golden! God WILL take care of His children. My boys belong to Him. I just have to continue to be obedient and follow His lead as I raise them FOR HIM. Fortunately, He left an excellent instruction book! The Bible. Every answer is there. Every instruction. Parenting for Dummies! 🤪
3 John 1:4 4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.
So I hope ya all don’t mind, but I really feel the need to close this one out in prayer. Parents- please pray the same prayer with me.
Father God. You are simply spectacular. Your plan is so perfect. Even though I sometimes do not understand our circumstances, even though you sometimes tell me no, even when things don’t go the way I planned, I trust you. I trust what you are doing with my boys. Lord I am simply asking you to guide me in this parenting thing. May every decision I make, every example I set, every word I speak ....may it all be of you. Use me, please, use me to grow Godly men who will honor you in everything they do. I claim your protection over them physically, mentally, emotionally. I pray that they fully understand how much you love them. I pray they know that the love you have for them surpasses and trumps the love I have for them. Because I can’t even fathom the amount of love you have for ALL of your children. Thank you....with everything in me, thank you for blessing me with the awesome gift of parenting these special boys....and I thank you so much for your son. Amen.
L-R Henry, Bryan and Ethan. 5/18
